Outside is wet with snow. The kind that makes you shiver down to the bone. I tell myself I won’t miss it: the iciness of wind chills, the trees as bare as twigs. I won’t miss the overrated powder that melts into mud as I squish-squish through… But inside, my heart is aching in this season of goodbyes and new beginnings.
For the past few months, I’ve spend most of my time in Poughkeepsie, a town you’ve probably never heard of and whose name in a few minutes you’ll forget how to spell. It’s been a joy spending time with my parents, sisters and extended family. But now I’m getting ready for another adventure…
When people hear I’ll be heading to Jamaica, their winter-hardened faces melt into a smile. “Take me with you!” they say. They imagine the sunshine warming their faces, the scent of the sea, beaches with powder-soft sand. I should be excited.
But I’m not. All I see is the home I have abandoned, now full of dust, shadows and stale air. I imagine roaches thriving in the empty spaces and think of the foot-long centipede I last saw in July, slithering beneath my bed.
I am paranoid, I tell myself. Only paranoid.
But I can’t fight the unease, the yearning to finally stay still after a year of constant travel and change. The bone-chilling cold here in Poughkeepsie seems like a small price to pay. I am afraid of the loneliness, afraid of these new beginnings.
Still, I tell myself, “Cheer up!”
It will be hard adjusting, at least in the first few weeks. But things will be okay. This is my season to shine, regardless of what life may bring.
P.S. This post was originally written as a response to a writing prompt entitled “Shine”. https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/shine/